© 2007 Insurance is fun, LLC
Arguing with an insurance adjuster is like
wrestling a pig in the mud......After awhile,
you realize he likes it.
wrestling a pig in the mud......After awhile,
you realize he likes it.
I was hitting the ski slopes when a bizarre accident occurred.
While fumbling my way off a chair lift, another chair hit me from behind and knocked me out cold. I woke up with a headache, in a hospital bed and immediately called my insurance company.
After explaining what happened the insurance rep said, "We're covering nothing on this claim. You hit yourself in the head with a chair on a ski lift. You're an idiot. And that's a pre-existing condition."
contributed by:Dan Seidman
After explaining what happened the insurance rep said, "We're covering nothing on this claim. You hit yourself in the head with a chair on a ski lift. You're an idiot. And that's a pre-existing condition."
contributed by:Dan Seidman
Adjusters Do It then Deny It Later
Contributed by: Christopher Forrest, NCRIC
Contributed by: Christopher Forrest, NCRIC
"Do you know the present value of your husband's policy?" the life insurance salesman asked his client.
"What do you mean?" countered the woman.
"If you should lose your husband, what would you get?" asked the salesman.
The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, "Probably a poodle."
"What do you mean?" countered the woman.
"If you should lose your husband, what would you get?" asked the salesman.
The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, "Probably a poodle."
"CLAIMS ARE GOING TO THE DOGS"
An auto client left home to pick up her mother-in-law, and had her boxer in the back seat on it's leash. After picking up her mother-in-law, the client and her mother-in-law argued about dinner that evening. Exasperated, my client stopped at the grocery store. It was a hot, summer afternoon, and the mother-in-law stayed in the car with the dog.
The windows of the car were down, as a young couple pulled into the next parking spot. Unfortunately, this young couple were also in the middle of a disagreement. They were yelling at the top of their lungs, and the young lady angrily got out of the car and slammed the door.
As she got out of her car, she leaned against my client's vehicle. Even though the boxer was on a leash, it jumped through the open back window to bite the young lady on her arm. The good news is, my client got to keep her dog. Claims agreed the dog felt threatened by the arguments and all the strangers. The boxer was simply defending its territory.
The morale to the story is take your dog in the grocery store, and roll up the windows when your mother-in-law is in the car!
Contributed 9/30/04 by J - Agent
An auto client left home to pick up her mother-in-law, and had her boxer in the back seat on it's leash. After picking up her mother-in-law, the client and her mother-in-law argued about dinner that evening. Exasperated, my client stopped at the grocery store. It was a hot, summer afternoon, and the mother-in-law stayed in the car with the dog.
The windows of the car were down, as a young couple pulled into the next parking spot. Unfortunately, this young couple were also in the middle of a disagreement. They were yelling at the top of their lungs, and the young lady angrily got out of the car and slammed the door.
As she got out of her car, she leaned against my client's vehicle. Even though the boxer was on a leash, it jumped through the open back window to bite the young lady on her arm. The good news is, my client got to keep her dog. Claims agreed the dog felt threatened by the arguments and all the strangers. The boxer was simply defending its territory.
The morale to the story is take your dog in the grocery store, and roll up the windows when your mother-in-law is in the car!
Contributed 9/30/04 by J - Agent
A client calls up his insurance agent and tells him he needs to file a claim. The agent says “Tell me what happened?” The client tells him and the agent says “I’m sorry but that’s not covered.” The client says “well, let me explain better what happened.” The agent says “I’m sorry but that’s not covered either.” The client says” I’ll tell you what, you tell me what’s covered and I’ll tell you how it happened!”
Bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away!
Contributed by: Dana R. Mudd, CISR, Combs Insurance Agency, Inc.
Contributed by: Dana R. Mudd, CISR, Combs Insurance Agency, Inc.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I was hitting the ski slopes when a bizarre accident occurred.
While fumbling my way off a chair lift, another chair hit me from behind and knocked me out cold. I woke up with a headache, in a hospital bed and immediately called my insurance company.
After explaining what happened the insurance rep said, "We're covering nothing on this claim. You hit yourself in the head with a chair on a ski lift. You're an idiot. And that's a pre-existing condition."
contributed by:Dan Seidman, http://www.salesautopsy.com/
While fumbling my way off a chair lift, another chair hit me from behind and knocked me out cold. I woke up with a headache, in a hospital bed and immediately called my insurance company.
After explaining what happened the insurance rep said, "We're covering nothing on this claim. You hit yourself in the head with a chair on a ski lift. You're an idiot. And that's a pre-existing condition."
contributed by:Dan Seidman, http://www.salesautopsy.com/
Top Ten Truthful Caddies
By their very nature, Insurance Agents and Brokers are Golfers…. Here’s some that should tickle the Nine Iron:
#10
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
#9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
#8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
#7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
#6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
#5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
#4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
#3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
#2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
and the #1 best caddy comment:
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
Contributed 10/21/04 by Rodger K. Middleton, B.A.
By their very nature, Insurance Agents and Brokers are Golfers…. Here’s some that should tickle the Nine Iron:
#10
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
#9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
#8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
#7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
#6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
#5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
#4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
#3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
#2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
and the #1 best caddy comment:
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
Contributed 10/21/04 by Rodger K. Middleton, B.A.
If irreverent priests are defrocked, and dishonest attorneys are disbarred, shouldn't difficult actuaries be deactivated?
Contributed 9/23/04 by Steven M. Oriol
Contributed 9/23/04 by Steven M. Oriol
A Charlotte, North Carolina lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost “in a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: That the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued – and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the “fires.”
Now for the best part!
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
Contributed 9/30/04 by Jeff Presley
The lawyer sued – and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the “fires.”
Now for the best part!
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
Contributed 9/30/04 by Jeff Presley
An agent had a hobby wherein he liked to fly in his hot air balloon. One day, due to bad weather, he was forced to stay in the air for many hours, blowing many miles off course. Finally the weather was calm enough for him to descend. He was about 20 feet from the ground when he saw a man walking. He asked, "Where am I?" The man answered. "You are in a balloon, approximately 20 feet off the ground." The balloonist responded, "You must be an underwriter." The man was surprised. He responded, "Yes, how did you know?" "Because your answer, while correct, was no good to me at all in solving my problem" ":Ah, then you must be an agent" "Well, yes, how did you know" "Because you asked me about a problem, your problem is still unresolved, but somehow it is now my fault".
Insurance is fun. No really. It is.
Fire. Water. Earth. Insurance.Bind me, baby!
Agents kick apps!
Forget my exclusions-let's talk about your limitations
I Love it when you extend my perils
Kiss me-I'm all risk
Isn't this fun?
Obviously, we're not paperless
Underwriters need hugs, too
Adjusters need hugs, too
Adjusters live in denial
CSRs need hugs, too
Love hurts. Insurance doesn't
Floaters don't
Is impaired property subject to ADA?
Oral binding rules!
Real agents bind orally
Binders? Binders? We don't need no stinking binders!
Will Bind for Chocolate
Mold me, baby!
Flood me, maby!
Mold me, I need the money!
Be immortal -- buy permanent life insurance!
Impair my property, I breaka you face!
Go Ye, Thou Art Bound!
Insurance Rocks!
Will the last company to leave Florida please leave their draft authority?
Florida Markets: Gone with the Wind
Take this job and love it!
Insurance Geeks Just Want to Have Fun
Have you hugged your Insurance Geek today?
Insurance Agents are premium lovers!
Will quote for food!
Premium finance is better than average finance!
Underwriters do it with less risk.
How's Business? It's risky but we can cover it.
Insurance. Can’t live with it. Can’t live without it.
Insurance is a state of mind.It’s big. It’s bad. It’s insurance.
Go Ye, Thou Art Bound!
Relax. It’s just insurance.
Insurance. You dig?
Everybody’s doing it. It’s called insurance.
Don’t stress—insurance is fun.
She left with a guy named insurance. He was more fun.
Insurance isn’t that bad, is it?
And in the end, all that was left were those who had fun with insurance.
Last night was great. Her name was insurance.
Let there be insurance!
Elvis is alive: He sells insurance. Sex, drugs and insurance.I’m not perfect, just insured.
Some coverages are longer than others.
Insuranceholics Anonymous.Homeless—will sue for asbestos.
I live a life of layering and excess. Elvis has insured the building.my dog? He's a pit bull, why do you ask?
Accidents in the last few years? Not that you know of....
Fire protection? My volunteer fire company offers same day service! (AKA "Cellar Savers")Collision Coverage? We don't need no stinkin' collision coverage!....
Insurance Geek and Darn Proud of It